the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
