Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
