i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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