it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
