She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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