D3 body, D1 cock
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
