Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
