I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
