i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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