She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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