Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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