you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
operation have a gay friend backfired
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
