OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have post one night stand depression
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