She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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