idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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