even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
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i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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