Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
