I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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