Already got asked if we're dating
he puts the penis in happiness.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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