can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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