You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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