I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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