operation harelip BJ is a go
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
