Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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