Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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