sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize