It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
