turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize