I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
