I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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