Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
