Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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