she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
