i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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