ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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