Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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