I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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