thus making me awesome and them whores
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
