She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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