New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
