Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
