there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
third nipple confirmed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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