ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize