Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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