you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
