she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
