I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
