For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
