I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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