Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize