OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
