You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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