I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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