I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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