so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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