ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sext me about skeletons
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize