People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
