Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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