I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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