omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
