I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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